there's paper in my vomit.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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