just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
