Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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