Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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