I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
