Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
