at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize