69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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