just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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