I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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