were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
