The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
