i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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