hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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