belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
