Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
