I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
