Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
