When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
