You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
