You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
