god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
