dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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