I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
