Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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