Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
