He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
