the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
