I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
