some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
