Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize