i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
