I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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