Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm having to shit out rocks
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