No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
