well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
