I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
