He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he shaved USA in his pubs
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
