there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
