So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i think im in europe. pls send help
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
