I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
