Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
