I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
