Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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