He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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