I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
