My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
