his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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