Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
