I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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