member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
