i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
