I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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