Hey man sorry I got all grabby
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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