i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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