okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
