what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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