Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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