She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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